If you had asked me 2 years ago, if I wanted to have a baby, you’d probably hear a loud laugh: “Me? Baby? Maybe in 10 years, and I’ll probably adopt“. I clearly wasn’t the one who would sneak peek into other women’s strollers making sweet sounds of delight.
I couldn’t imagine myself being a mom. After all, I could barely take care of myself. I was the unpredictable one, following my heart rather than thinking reasonably. For me, the important things were: traveling, writing, and passion in life.
Well, today I can tell you, life doesn’t always go the way we plan it. Under various circumstances, it does teach you what’s really important for you, though.
Maternity teaches you understand yourself
First months after giving birth are tough for all moms, obviously. Don’t try to pretend they’re not. Feeling overwhelmed, very often fighting with sleep deprivation, sore body and general irritation. No worries, mommies. We’ve all been there!
In this tough time, you’ll most probably realize, you have partially forgotten about all those things that once used to give you so much fun. In my case that was working out (I used to be a professional volleyball player, swimming regularly, going to the gym), active traveling (trekking, long walks), writing and photography.
There is a breaking point, though, when you tell yourself: “Hey, something’s wrong. This is not me anymore. I need to put my shit together again“. And this is exactly when you start learning about yourself.
With limited time, you start prioritizing. That lack of time makes you find that time. However absurd it sounds.
You start putting more attention to things that are important to YOU – feeling good in your body and celebrating it, having time for yourself, having a no-baby time with your partner. Maternity teaches you to balance things out.
Don’t try to be a superwoman
In a era where it’s so “trendy” to be a superwomen, when something goes wrong, you’re late or have failed, the pressure can be unbearable. After all, you’d like to be a great mom, be a support to your partner, have a fantastic career and be successful, look stunning, feel like a young god, run all errands, remember about everything that has to be done and still don’t lose your mind.
This is a great way to a mental break down.
Just recently, I have understood, it’s impossible to do everything and be everywhere. It’s okay to say “no”. I don’t want to be a superwomen. Really, I don’t. I just want to be happy.
We, women, create some extraordinary standards for ourselves to prove others we can handle everything. No we can’t. But not because we’re women, as some may say. Simply no one can handle so many tasks perfectly and still stay sane. You need to chose.
Don’t force yourself to prove the whole world what an incredible multitasker you are.
Paradoxically, being a working and active mom – tired, upset, overloaded – taught me a lot about myself. It taught me how to prioritize and find my balance. And yes, I do get overwhelmed sometimes. When work stresses me out, when Chloe wakes up million times at night, when Abhi’s work phone doesn’t stop ringing even at 8 PM. When all those things pile up, I feel like I’m going to explode.
But those are moments. Short whiles. I’ve started understanding my head doesn’t want all that, and every day I learn to distance myself from things. This is one of million things motherhood teaches me on a daily basis.
Motherhood, relationships, work, passions – it all should make you want wake up every morning. It’s okay to be selective, it’s ok to be messy and not be perfect in everything, it’s okay to fail and get lost if it serves a higher purpose of being happy in life.
Find a passion in your life and stick to it. Happy you are happy people you care for! Not everything in life can be a priority.